


No Title

by bellafarella



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 10:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1547300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellafarella/pseuds/bellafarella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fuck I love Ian Gallagher. How did this happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Title

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I wrote on my tumblr (on March 26th). Was what I thought 4x11 should be. 4x11 was so much better though :p

Sleeping in the same bed as Ian Gallagher is still pretty new to Mickey even though it’s been weeks, it still feels new. Even the whole kissing thing feels new to him, but fuck does it ever feel good, not that he’d ever admit that to him. There’s no denying it anymore, his feelings for this kid but it’s not going to stop him from freely admitting them to him. Not yet anyways. Mickey pretty much got outed in a bar full of people by his wife and homophobic, psychotic father.

···

I was in the upstairs of the Alibi taking care of some business when I went downstairs to get a drink that I desperately needed. I saw Svetlana and the baby coming toward me, and at the end of the bar I saw Ian. Everything went to fucking shit after that. I had to tell him to leave, which obviously I wasn’t going to do but fuck the bar was pretty full I couldn’t have anyone suspecting anything especially since the cunt said the word  _boyfriend_ out in the open.

When I got to him I said, “why you acting like a fucking girl huh?”

He replies, “cause you’re not free”.

"What do you want from me? The bitch wants you gone, she went to christen the baby today or some shit that I don’t give a fuck about. There’s a lot of people here Ian.. I can’t just tell her to fuck off" I said.

"Why do you spend every fucking night since I’ve been back over at my house with me, in my —" Ian started to say

"Hey! Enough of that shit. I can’t do this here" I said, frankly I’m getting a little pissed. He knows we can’t do this here. What’s gotten into him?

"Oh you can’t talk to me here but you can kiss me out in  _public_  at The FairyTale?” Ian says.

"Shut the fuck up Gallagher". I was about to tell him we’ll deal with it later when Terry walked into the bar and saw Ian and I talking closely. 

···

It’s all a big fucking blur really. A blur of fists and blood. Kev ended up shooting Terry in the head and when the cops came they were about to arrest me cause I was the one covered in his blood. They even had me in fucking handcuffs for fuck sakes. Just cause I have a criminal record and have been to juvie (more than once) they go and blame me first. Kev and Ian told them that it was self-defence though and that Kev was the one who shot him. None of us got into any shit cause it was self-defence, thank God. 

···

Waking up next to Mickey Milkovich will never get old. It’s been a few weeks since all that shit went down with his father. Since it happened Mickey was right back at my house sleeping in my bed,  _our_  bed. We moved my stuff into the basement and Mickey moved in with me. Mickey is curled up next to me with his hand on my arm. If I’m up before him, which I usually am, I find that that happens a lot, his hand on my arm, or my stomach, or just something of mine. It feels good. Really good.

···

I woke up to a pair of soft lips on my neck. Firecrotch knows just how to wake me up. Sometimes it’s lips on my neck, on my lips, or on my cock. Either option is good with me. 

"Morning Mick" he said between his nice, wet kisses on my neck, lips, and down my chest. 

All I could manage was a groan. Like I said, he knows just how to wake me up. 

···

After waking up Mickey the best I knew how to, we took a shower,  _together_. I love those showers. Since we were sort of outed at the Alibi everyone pretty much knows we’re together. Mickey’s family hate him because he’s gay and because  _he_  got their father killed, he didn’t get him killed, Terry got himself killed. Mandy still clearly loves Mickey though. She lives with us for now, she stays in Lip’s old room. I told her we’d keep her safe from Kenyatta and that’s what we’ve been doing. He did end up leaving when Mickey shot him in the arm and told him if he ever showed up here again he’d put the next bullet in his head. She still rather stay with us than her house since her family hates Mickey lives there and so does Svetlana and the baby. Ever since my sort of attack on Kenyatta for beating on Mandy I’ve been on these pills to control my mood swings. I found out that I’m Bipolar, just like Monica. Except Mickey keeps telling me I’m not like her and I never will be. I hope he’s right.. I don’t want to be like her. I also stopped working at the FairyTale, it’s not a healthy environment for me to be in if I’m trying to get better. I’m studying for my GED since I don’t want to re-enroll in high school, thought this would be better. Everyone seems pretty happy about that, even Mickey. I told him he could do it also and study with me, all he said was “fuck off”. Things are pretty much the same between us, except we do kiss more, which is awesome. He’s still married to Svetlana but at least he completely moved in with me and she knows she has no more excuses to make him stay since he clearly stated how much he doesn’t care about her or the baby. He gives her money every so often for the baby.

···

I got home that night and saw Ian on the bed curled up in a ball crying softly into the pillow. This happens sometimes.. usually if he decides to stop taking his pills but I saw him take them that morning so it can’t be that.

"Ian, what’s wrong? Look at me.." I say as I sit behind him on our bed.

He turns around, sits up, and looks at me with the most pained expression on his face. 

"What’s wrong? Tell me.. I’m here" I say, trying to soothe him. I hate when he gets like this.

"It’s been almost two months.. now that you’re living here with me and we act as if we’re together.. but are we actually? I mean.. we still don’t act like a couple, and I don’t even know.. if that’s what we are.. I just.. I don’t know.." He looks so torn up and I don’t know what brought all this on. I want to tell him it’s okay and that obviously we’re together, I’m here aren’t I, but I don’t know if that’s what I should say.. I just say it cause it’s all I know to say.. what the fuck else do I say?

"I don’t know what to say Ian. I’m here. I’ve been here since I brought you home. I’m not leaving. I don’t know what more you want from me." That came out a little harsher than I intended it to, I can tell by the look in his eyes. 

Ian gets up, and so do I. He runs his hands through his fire red hair before letting them scan over his face. 

"I just want you Mick! Don’t say I have you because I don’t. Not completely anyways. I don’t give a shit if that sounds  _too gay_  or some shit. You’re still fucking  _married_  and you’re living here with me, sharing a bed with me every night. But yet you’re not mine. Even though we were outed you still don’t like going anywhere too public. I just don’t know what to do anymore Mick.. I just want you.”

As Ian says all this he looks so beaten down and I just don’t want him to feel like this but _fuck_  I came home happy because of him and what we have and now he’s making shit bad again. Plus I had some news to tell him that would make him happy. Fuck why does he do this!?

“ _Fuck”_ I mutter. ”Christ Ian!!!” Now I’m pissed. He always ends up doing shit like this and he can’t blame it on his disorder cause I know he’s under control with that.

"What?!  _What_  Mickey? Why the fuck are you pissed now?! It’s not like I’m the one married to a russian whore with a baby, who won’t completely commit to his boyfriend who he lives with-“ 

"His what?" I just got completely caught off guard.  _Boyfriend._  He’s never called me that before. And even if he has he’s never once said that to me or around me. If the off chance we are out he just introduces me as Mickey. 

"What? Boyfriend? Oh come the fuck on Mick. You live with me. You share a bed with me every single night. You’re my boyfriend.. aren’t you?" He asked a little unsure all of a sudden. Boyfriend? Am I really Ian Gallagher’s  _boyfriend_? I’ve never been someone’s boyfriend before. Not even when I was fucking girls. I’m not the boyfriend kind of guy. I’ve never been that guy. He should know that. He knows me. I’m not the boyfriend type.

"I know I live with you.. But I’m not the boyfriend type. Christ Ian. We fight a lot then we fuck a lot. I’ve never been the type to share my feelings and to do that lovey dovey bullshit that couples do.. You know that. You’ve known that from day fucking one. But me still being here should be an indication to you that I’m with you.. Why don’t you see that!?" I don’t understand how he doesn’t know how I feel about him after all this time. It’s been 4 years since we’ve started hooking up. It’s been a few months that I’ve been actually  _living_  with him for fuck sakes. What the fuck else do I need to do!?

"Well maybe for once Mick I’d like to hear you say something! Yeah you’re still here but for how fucking long, huh? I never really know what I’m getting with you.. One minute you’re fucking some dirty skank, the next you’re actually kissing me, and the next you’re kicking my teeth in and marrying a whore-"

"Fuck Ian that was long ago! You need to move past all that shit!!" 

"Maybe I can’t!!" He shouts.

We’re quiet for a few seconds before he runs his hands over his face again and turns around.

He says more quietly, “Just for once Mickey.. Tell me how you really feel about me, without me having to guess every moment of every day”.

How  _do_  I feel about Ian Gallagher? I know I can’t lose him again. Those months that he was gone were fucking agony. I can’t go through that again. Not ever. 

"I.." I start to say.. I don’t know what the fuck I start to say.  _Fuck._  

Ian turns around to look me in the eyes. “You what?” He says coming a bit closer to me.

"Why do you do this to me?! Christ Ian, I came home so happy cause me and that bitch went to sign the fucking divorce papers that were ready finally! I was so ready to tell you cause I knew you’d be thrilled. Then you go and fucking pull this shit on me- w _hat_!? What are you starring at!?!?” Ian is just starring at me with his mouth a bit open. 

"You got a divorce?" Ian says coming even closer to me that I can see the rise and fall of his chest, and his sharp, heavy breathing.

"Yeah that’s what I fucking said, didn’t I? Yeah, yeah I’m  _free_ ”. Free, as he likes to say. I guess I am finally free. Free from Terry. Free from Svetlana. Free from “the closet”. Free to be with Ian. 

Ian crushes his lips to mine and grabs the back of my neck.  _Fuck._  I don’t know why it took me so goddamn long to kiss this kid. Kissing him is probably my favorite thing to do with him, apart from actually having him inside me. I’ve never kissed any of the skanks I’ve fucked, I guess Ian was my first real kiss. It’s just so different than anything. So soft and rough at the same time. I grab onto his waist to steady myself and kiss him back with everything I’ve got. I fucking love kissing him. I fucking love him. Holy shit did I just….? Fuck I  _love_  Ian Gallagher. How did this happen? 

I break our kiss long enough to look him in the eyes. He stares back at me with a big smile on his face. 

"I love you" I blurt out. There, it’s out there, I said it.

He’s quiet for a couple seconds as it seems to register in his mind. “You.. love me?” He says skeptically.

"That’s what I said asshole" I say with a smile on my face so he knows I don’t actually mean the asshole part. Well maybe I meant it a little. 

I didn’t think it was possible but Ian’s smile just got even bigger. Bigger than I’ve ever seen him smile before. He closes the distance between us again with his lips. He grabs onto me so tightly, we’re pressed up against each other and _fuuuck_  it feels good. He pushes me onto the bed and leans over me. “I love you too Mick” He says as he kisses me again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I'd just post this here. It's on my tumblr. Check it out http://bellafarella.tumblr.com/ :):)


End file.
